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Dating Rules :: |
by Karen Fox |  |

How To
Be Broken Up With (Yes, I know that title's
not gramatically correct, but the correct version goes something like "How
To Be A Person Up With Whom Is Being Broken," which is just ridiculous.)
First and foremost, believe what the other person says. Believe that they
really no longer wish to date you, and believe that they genuinely like you as
a human being. Let me 'splain. My little scenario above on breaking
up with someone is meant to have the gentlest impact possible. But it's not going
to work if you only hear half the words and think to yourself "well, they
were so nice about it, maybe they just need some time." No. The other person
does not need time. They told you the truth. They no longer wish to be involved
with you. At this point, if you all behave like adults, there's a chance for you
to be friendly. On the other hand, if you force the issue and don't back off when
you were kindly asked to--well, then the other person is going to be forced to
blow you off completely, totally and harshly. So back off. That means that you
can call in a month, but not in a week. And if they should happen to call you
before that--they are being civilized and being nice. Do not take it as a sign
to rush headlong back in to the relationship. But you also have to believe
that the break-upper does genuinely like you, the break-uppee. They're clearly
not in love with you--but if they didn't have some respect for you they would
have simply changed their phone number instead of nicely telling you the relationship
was over. So don't go beating yourself up. And don't go reinventing the entire
relationship in light of the current circumstances, thinking things like "hmmm,
so that night when he told me he had the stomach flu and couldn't go out, he probably
was just bored to death of me and didn't know how to tell me." He had the
stomach flu, ok? Don't torture yourself.
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