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 How To Be Broken Up With (Yes, I know that title's not gramatically correct, but the correct version goes something like "How To Be A Person Up With Whom Is Being Broken," which is just ridiculous.) First and foremost, believe what the other person says. Believe that they really no longer wish to date you, and believe that they genuinely like you as a human being. Let me 'splain. My little scenario above on breaking up with someone is meant to have the gentlest impact possible. But it's not going to work if you only hear half the words and think to yourself "well, they were so nice about it, maybe they just need some time." No. The other person does not need time. They told you the truth. They no longer wish to be involved with you. At this point, if you all behave like adults, there's a chance for you to be friendly. On the other hand, if you force the issue and don't back off when you were kindly asked to--well, then the other person is going to be forced to blow you off completely, totally and harshly. So back off. That means that you can call in a month, but not in a week. And if they should happen to call you before that--they are being civilized and being nice. Do not take it as a sign to rush headlong back in to the relationship. But you also have to believe that the break-upper does genuinely like you, the break-uppee. They're clearly not in love with you--but if they didn't have some respect for you they would have simply changed their phone number instead of nicely telling you the relationship was over. So don't go beating yourself up. And don't go reinventing the entire relationship in light of the current circumstances, thinking things like "hmmm, so that night when he told me he had the stomach flu and couldn't go out, he probably was just bored to death of me and didn't know how to tell me." He had the stomach flu, ok? Don't torture yourself. - Back Duplication or reproduction of any use of these articles without permission is subjected to punishable by law. Please contact our webmaster for any questions. |
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